Walking Together
by Senaeth
Summary: After 9 years Tony has one last chance of telling Ziva how he feels and build a life with her. Will they both have the strength to pursue what they want despite all odds and self doubts? Tiva starting from S11E2 but backstory is AU before that. Mentions of rape and torture (nothing too graphic), rated T just to be sure
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story I started writing to get back into swing of things. I haven't written anything in a long time due to personal circumstances and thought writing some fanfiction would be a good way to just enjoy writing without having to think too hard about setting and characters.**

**I have been binging hard on Tiva fics so that is what inspired me to pick this. There will be mentions of rape and abuse but nothing too graphic. I am aiming to make this a fluffier fic. but there will be some rougher parts.**

**This will start from S11E2 and will depart from there. Some past events have been changed, I just write the fiction how I feel like it and not keep every single word ever said in 10+ seasons perfectly in mind.**

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They were walking towards the gate in silence. However, Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo's mind was going a million miles per minute. For the past 9 years he had been madly in love with his partner at NCIS Ziva David. The moment she first spoke to him, the normally smooth talking playboy was taken aback by her and started fumbling over his words.

But it wasn't just looks with took Tony by surprise, within a few week Ziva turned into a real friend and someone he could trust implicitly. Quickly he noticed not just the outer but also the inner beauty of the Mossad assassin. And ever since he had stuck in a spell he couldn't get out of.

It was only when he was deep into his cover as the boyfriend of Jeanne that he thought he might finally get his mind off the Israeli across the bullpen. However, as with any undercover mission that turns way too personal. His relationship with Jeanne had exploded in his face.

After she resigned from NCIS, Tony was heartbroken to find out that Ziva was leaving NCIS. It was only when they were going through the whole Bodnar ordeal that he realised he needed to act now. With Ziva's life once again having been in serious danger, he had made an inner resolution to finally tell Ziva about his feelings. And Gibb's rules be damned he would ask her out on a date.

It was right after the dust had settled, Bodnar was dead and they could finally breathe again. Tony found himself alone with Ziva his heart beating out of his chest so nervous he was. But when he opened his mouth to start a saying something to Ziva, she spoke first.

"Tony, I need to tell you something." she had started "I am leaving NCIS. And not just NCIS, the United States. I am going to go back to Israel."

That was the moment Tony almost felt his heart physically break, his whole world collapsed. He had finally gotten his mind straight and knew what he wanted, but that image of him and Ziva together was shattered right before he could get to it.

He had mumbled something, about whatever is best for her. But to be honest he couldn't even remember what he said, his mind was on something completely else.

He knew Ziva needed to do some soul searching. It had been a though 9 years in NCIS for her and her life had changed in oh so many ways. He knew that it would be best for Ziva to let go of NCIS and the team for a while. Not mattering how much it hurt Tony, if it would be best for Ziva he could take any pain.

But the peace Ziva was trying to find was short-lived and within months there were new threats and new enemies. Tony once again feared for Ziva's life and he was going to protect her come hell or high water. Tony didn't even have to ask Gibbs for permission to go to Israel, Gibbs just told him to go. Luckily once he arrived, he found her safe and well.

His mind set at ease, he could finally think about him and Ziva again. It was almost like they had never parted and in that moment he realised that this might give him the opportunity he missed those months ago to finally tell her how he felt.

They had enjoyed a few days in Israel, but he had to go back to Washington. NCIS and the Navy were still reeling from the death of SecNav Jarvis.

It was during their time together in Israel, Tony had tried to find ways and moments of telling Ziva about his feeling. But for some reason the words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

Now they were walking towards the gate and Tony knew the moment was slipping from his hands. They were at the tarmac and the rest of the passengers on Tony's flight were boarding the plane.

He looked towards Ziva, her hair flowing in loose curls down her back. "Ziva." he said, swallowing a lump he had stuck in his throat.

She turned to him "Yes, Tony?".

Looking into her eyes, the ones he could probably get lost in, he knew he had to speak up now or he would regret it for the rest of his life.

"Ziva, I..." he swallowed again.

She furrowed her brow "What is it Tony?"

"Ziva, I am in love with you." he finally blurted out "I have been for a while now."

Ziva just stared at him. Tony looked at her in silence shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Ziva? Just say something, anything."

"No…" she almost whispered.

Tony looked at her questioningly.

"No, no, no, no… Tony!" She started raising her voice with each word. "Damn it Tony!" her hand hitting his chest.

"Ziva, please." He was cut off with a slap to the face.

"9 years Tony! You could have told me for 9 years and you wait until the last moment. When I finally started to get things in plan here." she was almost shouting now.

Tony felt his heart almost breaking, he had screwed up and Ziva was going to hate him for it. "Ziva, please let me talk."

"No, why didn't you tell me before I returned to Israel?"

He was desperate and had nothing to lose. She might kill me for this, he thought but it seemed like the only option.

Tony gently put his hands on either side of the still rambling Ziva's face, moved forward and kissed Zive. Silencing her in one fell swoop.

Ziva's eyes turned wide when she felt his lips on hers. But she couldn't refuse the feelings that had been buried so deep inside of her.

While in Mossad she was taught to erase any and all feelings for the people around her. This could only endanger a mission, when someone would be killed or captured it made it easier to sever ties and keep going. It also solved the issue of romanticism. There was nothing to hinder the agent's mission.

However, soon after arriving in the US she was confronted with these feelings. For years she had been alone, her sister dead, mother gone, and father only her superior not her dad.

But after meeting Gibbs, Tony, McGee and the rest of the team she felt a connection to these people. This unlikely bunch functioned as some sort of family. A weird family at that, but a family nonetheless.

And when her own brother was threatening to shoot Gibbs, she chose Gibbs over her brother.

After the whole ordeal with Ari she was assigned as Mossad liaison. Now she had a chance of becoming part of that weird family. Quickly these people tore down the wall that she had been trained to put up for most of her life and for the first time she was allowed to feel again.

One friday night somewhere in her first year with NCIS they had just wrapped up a case. They all had gone to a bar together to celebrate and just let go of the stress that had build up in the past week.

It was on this night she she finally realised what these people had done, how they had become her family. They had torn down the walls around her heart and feelings and once she was home she could do nothing but cry. For the first time since Tali had died Ziva David allowed herself to cry.

She cried of sadness, she cried of happiness and she cried of fear. After that night she was determined to do whatever it would take to protect the new family she had.

However, soon things became more complicated. While she saw the team more and more as a family there was one person's role in that family she couldn't place.

McGee and Abby turned into her new siblings. Ducky took the mantle of the charming grandfather like figure with his endless stories and always encouraging words. Gibbs became a father to her, and not like Eli David just the man who held that title by right. But by action. Gibbs supported her, cared for her, gave her advice when she needed and protected her.

Everything one would expect a father to do. The things her father never gave to her, Gibbs gave to her.

But Tony's role was harder to define. More and more her feelings for Tony got deeper. They were partners in the field and had each other's back at all times. But they turned into something more.

The 2 agents were spending more and more time together as Ziva's time at NCIS progressed. Frequently they had movie nights at Tony's place. Or she would cook for the both of them, relying on the things her mother had thought her. While she wasn't the best cook in the world. Tony always, at least pretended, to enjoy her food.

It was only when Tony introduced Jeanne one night that she realised how she felt for Tony. She realised that her feelings for Tony had morphed into something more, romantic ones.

It were all these feeling that were stirred up the moment that Tony told her of his feelings for her. Ziva could not help to be angry. But she wasn't sure if she was angry at Tony or herself.

However, now she could feel her anger flow away when she felt Tony's lips on hers. And slowly she gave into the kiss.

It was only when Tony felt Ziva relax and give into the kiss he felt comfortable enough to enjoy the moment.

Both didn't know how long they stood there kissing, it could have been a few seconds or it could have been an hour. After a while both needed oxygen and released the kiss at the same time.

Tony gently rested his forehead against Ziva's and just looked into those brown eyes for a while. Tony was content to be in this moment for now and could have spend the rest of his days a happy man staring into Ziva's eyes right here on the tarmac in Israel.

But it was not to last, both were woken from their combined spell when they heard the final boarding call for Tony's plane.

"Come back with me." Tony almost whispered.

"Tony, I just started building a life here again."

Tony could see the doubt in Ziva's eyes "But you already have a life back in Washington. Please we can make this work, we can make us work." He said, trying to convince her.

Ziva's mind was going miles a minute. What was she supposed to do? Stay here? Go with Tony? Could it all be that simple? She didn't want to go back to NCIS or any law enforcement, she knew that much.

"But Tony…" she trailed off getting lost in her mind again.

How were the others going to react? Did they hate her for leaving? Would she have to tell Tony about all her inner demons? How was he going to react? Ziva's mind started to descend into the darkest reaches of her mind. The parts where she had hidden all her demons, but she could not control them at the moment

Tony could see the panic raging in Ziva's eyes. "It will be alright" he reassured her while gently stroking his thumb against her cheek. "we will make it work. We always have and always will."

Ziva's mind was still raging. How could they ever be together, the playboy Tony and Ziva the Mossad assassin who now was afraid when anybody touched her. It could not work. After Somalia she freaked out whenever anyone touched her, especially men. Strangely enough Tony's hands were soothing her.

Tears started to form in Ziva's eyes. She blinked once, making the tears spill over her eyelids.

She looked once again into Tony's eyes, tears now clouding her sights. "I am sorry Tony." she whispered. Then she quickly moved away towards the exit of the airport.

Tony just stood there rooted in his spot. He had lost her, the girl he had been in love with for years now. The girl he had lost and regained so many times, he had now completely lost her.

Completely numb he entered his plane and when he saw the lights grow smaller and smaller from his plane window he let a small tear run down his cheek.

"Goodbye Ziva" he whispered.

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**I hope you liked it, I haven't written anything in years.**

**I will try to update somewhat frequently. I already have large parts of chapter 2 finished**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so happy the first chapter went down so great with you guys. Thank you all for your kind words.**

**In case it was not evident or I forgot to mention this fic. is not 100% canon. Certain things did not happen in the backstory here and other things might have gone a bit differently. **

**To be honest if I stuck to how the series went to the word there would be no need for this and I could just watch the episodes.**

**This chapter came out rather quickly and I greatly enjoyed writing it. I hope you like it.**

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Tony still felt numb when he landed back in DC. He quickly found a cab and gave the driver the address to his apartment. The cabbie had tried to make small-talk with Tony, but Tony quickly shot him a look that said he was not in the mood.

When they rolled into the street where his apartment complex knew he needed someone to talk to. He needed Gibbs. He told the cab driver that he had changed his plans and needed to go to a different place. Tony quickly put his bag in his apartment and gave the cab driver Gibbs' address.

Once at Gibbs' he found the door unlocked as always, and Gibbs not in the living room. He could hear sounds coming from the basement as always and he would not have expected anything else from Gibbs.

Tony slowly opened the basement door and started walking down the stairs. His thoughts still raging with the events earlier. He barely got any sleep while flying back, only once dozing off. But he immediately was hit with a nightmare when he finally entered some sleep. The dream still haunting him hours after.

He was back on the rooftop just over 9 years ago. Gibbs and Kate were standing there as was on that fateful day and just like that day Kate was shot. But when he rushed over to Kate's body he could see Ziva lying there. Her cloths and skin as ragged as when he had found her in Somalia, the only difference was the bullet hole on her forehead.

He had almost screamed when his eyes shot open, but he regained his composure just in time. Tony was shaken from his thoughts when he heard Gibbs call from the bottom of the basement.

"Are you going to come down Dinozzo or just stand there all night?"

Tony walked down the stairs. "Sorry boss, I was thinking about something. How did you even know it was me?"

"I heard you open the front door." Gibbs said while putting down the piece of sanding paper he was using on his newest boat.

"You told her how you feel." Gibbs just simply stated, it was not a question in any way.

Tony was amazed that still after all these years Gibbs could just read him like an open book. He never even spoken about his feeling for Ziva with anyone, not even and especially not Gibbs. But here he was just telling Tony he knew all along.

Gibbs looked around his workbench for something to use as 2 glasses. When he found a pair which weren't too dirty he poured them both some Bourbon. Tony took a seat and nodded thanking Gibbs for the drink.

"How long have you known?" Tony simply asked.

"Long enough, even before Jeanne."

"And you never said anything!?" Tony was surprised that Gibbs knew that long how he had felt about Ziva. "Not even a warning about rule 12?"

"If you guys had acted on it, there would have been no way to stop you." Gibbs' face serious.

Gibbs shot Tony another look "And do you really think that rule 12 applies here?" Gibbs shook his head. "Rule 12 is to prevent office flings not what you had with Ziva. Not to stop love."

Tony looked at Gibbs amazed. 12 years and he still had not learned anything about Gibbs and his rules it seemed.

Tony smiled bitterly at that. He would have given up his space on the team just to be with Ziva.

"So what happened when you told her?" Gibbs enquired.

"She slapped me." Tony said with a laugh "So I kissed her.".

Gibbs just smiled at that."Seeing you are here I assume she didn't feel the same?"

"No Gibbs, I don't think that. I could feel that she wanted it but then she started crying and she walked off." Tony said sadly.

"Why did you wait so long to tell her anyway? I thought you would have told her within a year."

Tony's mind just kept going over what he could have done to convince her. Should he have said something else? Should he have ran after her? It was just tearing him up inside.

"You're taking a few days off Dinozzo."

"Boss I don't need a few days off, I just want to come into work and forget it all happened."

"You don't just forget someone like that Tony." Gibbs' tone of voice had shifted into his more serious tone. "Do you think I want to forget Ziva? Or that Abby or McGee wants to forget her?"

Tony gulped knowing he had said something wrong, even though he didn't mean what he said.

"Ziva was like a daughter to me. And sometimes you have to let go." Gibbs' voice had taken a less angry tone now.

Tony just nodded.

"But you can't let go while in the field, or in the office surrounded by things that remind you of her."

"But Boss, we're already 1 team member down."

"Don't worry about that, McGee and I will manage."

Gibbs' voice made it clear that there would be no point in arguing about this.

"Thanks Boss." Tony just said.

Tony spend some time talking with Gibbs about just about anything but Ziva or Israel. He called a cab to pick him up at Gibbs' place. Thinking he might get some sleep now.

Tony walked into his apartment and just dropped onto the bed. Between a 19 hour flight and a 7 hour time difference Tony had no clue what time it was. He looked at his alarm clock and green letters read 2:47. Tony just groaned seeing what time it was.

Even though everything that had happened and the hours without sleep, Tony's mind and body still refused to go to sleep. For the next 2 hours he lay in his bed tossing and turning unable to find rest. After a while he put on his DVD of Goldfinger hoping that one of his favourite movies could put his mind off the past few days' events. However, he just ended up staring at the screen not really watching the movie.

His mind kept wandering to Ziva and thinking about how much he had screwed up. He knew that he probably had lost her forever, if he only had the courage to express his feelings earlier. His thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on his door. Tony looked over to his alarm clock which read 5:21, Tony sighed it was almost morning and he still had not had any sleep at all.

The knocking continued. "I swear if this is McGee I am going kill him." Tony muttered to himself while walking to the door.

Tony opened the door and his heart stopped. His mind couldn't comprehend what he saw for it was an impossibility to him. In front of him he saw Ziva, her eyes red and tears running down her face.

"Ziva..." he gasped.

It was all he could say before Ziva launched at him, wrapping her arms around him. Tony could do nothing but close his arms around her while she started sobbing into his shoulder

"Ani mitnatzel." Was all she said over and over again.

Tony was still shocked to find Ziva standing at his door but he could not deny that it felt amazing to hold her right now. Hearing her say sorry over and over again in Hebrew made him feel intensely happy and broke his heart at the same time. It hurt him to see her sad but at the moment he was happy that this might mean something good for once.

Tony walked them both slowly inside holding her close, afraid that she would disappear. Once he had closed the door he took a look at the woman in her arms and he could not help a small smile creeping onto his face.

"It's ok." Whispered to her once her had closed the door. There they stood in his living room just holding each other. Tony could not help some tears welling up in his eyes.

Ziva did not stop apologising, seemingly having lost all grip on her English because she just kept on talking in Hebrew and while Tony understood some of the words he could not follow what she was saying.

"Hey Ziva" Tony said softly while gently putting touching her chin directing her face towards his "it is ok. You are here now and nothing else matters."

Then for the second time he kissed her. Within seconds she melted into his kiss. Tony made sure to show her just much he loved her with that one kiss. He put every bit of love he had for Ziva behind that kiss and he felt Ziva respond in kind. After what could have been hours or minutes they broke apart resting their foreheads against each other.

Staring into each other's eyes both were content in their little world which encompassed nothing more than themselves at that moment.

"I cannot believe you are here right now." Tony whispered "I thought I had lost you forever.".

He kissed her again as if to make sure for himself that this wasn't just some dream. After another minute or two ended their kiss and Ziva rested her head against Tony's chest the two of them still standing in Tony's living room.

Ziva was content to stand there for a while, just enjoying finally being close to Tony. Ziva had returned to her apartment in Israel after leaving Tony at the airport. On her way back she started to feel more guilt and more regret by the mile she drove. By the time she arrived at her apartment she didn't know if she wanted to scream at herself or to cry.

Finally Tony had told her how he felt about her and it turned out to be the same as she felt for him. Throughout the years they had flirted and joked with each other constantly, but never did she have the gut to take Tony up on his offers to go on a date. She always had a feeling that Tony only half jokingly put the offers out, and the other half he was dead serious about going on a date.

Looking around her apartment she now saw how barren and utilitarian was. The spartan decoration didn't feel like that at Gibbs' house. Gibbs' decoration fit with his personality and still even though it only contained the necessary things it still felt like home. Her apartment did not have that same feel, it just felt void and empty.

The only personal things she had around were a handful of photos on the wall next to her kitchen. She walked towards the pictures and took a look. Most of them were of her time in the US.

A picture of the team celebrating christmas, all gathered round a full table with a lit menorah adorning the table. A picture of herself when she became a US citizen, pictures of her with Tony and Abby and McGee.

One picture stood out, it was of Ziva with her family when she was younger. Actually it was the last picture of her family completely together. A tear escaped her eyes when she realised that she was the only person left of that photo. Next to where the picture of her family hung was one of the the NCIS team.

It was then and there that she realised that she did have a family, however, it was no longer Israel but in Washington. The looked longingly at the smiling face of Tony on the picture, he was standing next to herself.

Tears started running down her cheeks. "Ohh god what have I done." she said out loud to herself. "He told me he was in love with me and I just walked away."

Ziva started crying harder. It were both tears of joy and fea. Joy that Tony thought the same about her and fear that she might have thrown it all away before it even began.

She knew that it would be difficult and that she needed to take her time to do it right with Tony but she trusted him implicitly. He would never hurt her and would respect her boundaries, at least she hoped he would. At the same time she was afraid that the former playboy would not want to wait and that he would break her heart.

In a way she was more scared than ever. Even in Somalia, when her captors did horrible things to her. Things which left physical and mental scars. But she had no time to entertain such thoughts. Tony would never do such things and Tony would wait for her to be ready.

She made up her mind. She was done waiting and living for others. She was going to risk her heart and hope Tony would forgive her for walking away.

Ziva was racing through traffic making her way to the airport. While talking on the phone to some woman from for an airline.

"Look, I don't care what it costs. I need a flight to Washington DC now. I'll take a private jet if need be." She was getting annoyed, the woman clearly didn't understand that she would pay whatever it took get to Washington and to Tony.

"Ok miss, please calm down" the airline woman said on the other end of the phone, a hint of fear in her voice. "I can have a private plane ready within the hour. But it will be expensive."

"Just make sure it is ready, I will pay."

When she arrived she almost ran through the airport to the check-in desk she was told to report to. Taking out her wallet she looked at the bankcard hidden in the depths of it. Her father's lawyer had given it to her.

After her father passed away she had his lawyer handle the estate. Her father had left her a substantial sum of money together with a number pieces of real estate and other valuables. She never dared touch any of it, seemingly not knowing what she was to do with it all. She had always thought of donating most of it to some charity or orphanage, but she hadn't decided on what exactly. However, now some of this money had a good purpose, something for herself.

She quickly handled the formalities of the airline and when she was done she was informed that indeed her plane was ready as she had requested.

The 15 hour flight was torture for her. She could not sleep nor sit still. Her mind kept going over everything that could go wrong. Tony could outright reject her. Tony could not want to handle her demons. Tony could not be attracted to her due to her scars.

On 6 separate occasions she almost told the crew to turn the plane around. But the still lingering feeling of the kiss she shared with Tony convinced her every time to risk it all and keep going.

Now she was standing in Tony's apartment, wrapped in Tony's arms, her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat which had slowed down during the time they were standing like this. Notwithstanding how nice this felt she felt the need to talk with Tony about everything.

"Tony, I am so sorry." Ziva started to say.

Tony had no idea why she was apologizing because he didn't care what happened earlier, she was here now and that was all that mattered.

"Don't apologize." Tony looked down and gave her a quick kiss on her lips to silence her once more.

"You look tired." he said softly.

She smiled "So do you." she replied.

"Lets go to bed." Tony said while he started moving them both towards his bedroom.

Ziva froze at those words. This was what she was afraid of.

Tony noticed her change in demeanor. He brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek, the touch instantly ripping her out of her thoughts. She leaned into his touch, his fingers soothing any fears she had. She was surprised how he was the only who could touch her like this without her freaking out. And that his touch took away all the bad things in her mind in one go.

"Ziva," Tony said seriously while looking her right in the eyes. "I wont do anything that you don't want. I could even sleep on the couch if you want."

Ziva's heart filled with joy at these words. He was giving her whatever space she needed. She could control the pace of their relationship and it was the exact thing she needed to hear at that moment. For Tony she was willing to push aside her fears.

"Can I borrow a shirt?" Ziva said blushing "I kind of forgot everything back in Israel.".

Tony gave her a big smile at that "Of course you can, you can have everything of me that you want." he said looking directly in her eyes, the deeper meaning behind those words not lost on Ziva.

Silently they made their way into his bedroom. He handed her one of his shirts so she could sleep in that and she made her way into the adjoining bathroom so she could change.

When she came out Tony was already lying bed.

She made her way under the covers and lay next to him. It took a few minutes of turning before she decided that she actually needed to feel Tony right now.

"Tony is it ok if I… If we…" her words failed her at that moment.

Tony knew what she wanted to ask and he moved his arm in an effort to pull her closer. He wrapped his arm around her and she lay down on his chest. A smile crept onto her face as she heard his steady heartbeat beneath her.

This was exactly what Ziva needed and within seconds she was dozing off. The last thing she felt was Tony gently kissing to top of her head and she was off into the best sleep she had had in years.

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**So that is that. I hope you enjoyed.**

**Please let me know what you think about it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I never expected to post 2 chapters in 2 days. But I am in a good flow right now and might as well keep it going.**

**I apologize for the possibility of really butchered Hebrew. My Hebrew is only as good as I can google it.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

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Tony woke up from probably the best sleep he had ever had and waking up turned out to be even better. When he woke he was afraid to open his eyes, fearing that last night had only been a dream. He did feel a woman sleeping on his chest but when he opened his eyes he was met with a mess of familiar brown hair.

What he saw when he opened his eyes filled his heart with joy and a smile adorned his face as he watched Ziva quietly sleeping on his chest. He looked over to his alarm clock and saw that it was almost 3pm, "we both must have been exhausted." he thought.

Tony carefully moved his free right arm to grab his phone. Tony gasped when Ziva started moving but she just resettled her head on his chest, snuggling closer to him. Tony smiled at this, he felt zo content in that moment he wanted to stay here like this forever.

Tony quickly texted Gibbs. "Ziva is here, everything is alright for now. -Tony"

"Yea…" Tony thought "for now."

The realisation in the truth behind these words was frightening, he knew that even though he did have Ziva sleeping on his chest at the moment, once she woke up it they would need to talk about their feelings.

For the next hour he simply enjoyed watching Ziva sleep, his thoughts running wild thinking of answers for any and all questions Ziva might throw at him once she woke up.

Could they work? Yes, of course they had been friends and partners for years. Why couldn't they work as a couple?

Where would Ziva stay? Right here in his arms if he had any say over it. He wa

Would he wait for her? Until the end of time if need be.

Did he really love her? This possible question in his mind scared him, not the question itself or what it meant but his gut answer to it. Yes, yes he did. The realisation of this made him happy and scared at the same time.

It was just past 4:30 pm when he felt Ziva stir. Tony held his breath and steeled himself for whatever reaction Ziva might have.

Ziva started waking up from one of the best sleeps she had in a very long time. For the first time since before Somalia she had woken up at her own accord and not from a nightmare. But this night was something even more, this was the first night since her youth she really allowed herself to sleep and turn her mind off completely.

Due to her Mossad training she always slept with "1 eye open", figuratively speaking. Even during her sleep she was aware of her surroundings and could react in a moment's notice.

But last night she had slept like she had done as a child and it felt good. What had felt even better is where she woke up. Her head on Tony's chest, his steady heartbeat beneath her ear and his arm around her protectively. She felt his fingers drawing soothing circles on her back, his fingers occasionally hitting a ridge.

Her eyes shot open at his realisation. "The scars" her mind screamed at her "he must know." . Of course he knew something, he was a detective for crying out loud. Ziva started to panic and her mind started to cloud.

Tony had started to smile when he felt that Ziva was waking up. His ringers had been tracing patterns on her back for the past hour and he had felt ridges and bumps which couldn't be natural. But he knew that Ziva would tell their story when she was ready to tell him.

Tony's smile faded when Ziva shot up from his chest with an almost primal fear set on her face. Ziva's mind was blank with fear, she was not sure of what exactly she was afraid but it all centred around Tony. What he would think of her and how he would react when he found out what exactly had happened in Somalia.

"He is going to hate me when he finds out." Her mind was calling out.

The pain would be too much for her to take. She needed to get out there before he could find out. It would be easier for her to leave than to have her heart broken by him. Ziva started to get up when she suddenly felt herself being wrapped in Tony's arms.

"I will be ok." She heard Tony whisper. "I will be here for you Ziva. I am not leaving."

"It won't be ok Tony. It never will." She sobbed. Tears started streaming down her face, her body shaking.

"Yes it will, we have each other and that is all that matters." He kissed to top of her head.

He gently took her face in his hands and moved her so he could look directly into her eyes. Tears staining her face. She could see to love in his eyes, she didn't dare to break his stare afraid that the love would be gone.

"I won't go anywhere. I want you just as you are." Tony said while wiping a tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

"And if what we had tonight is what we have every night." The emotion laced his voice "Then I will be the happiest man alive because I will be the man that falls asleep next to you.".

He leaned down and captured her lips with his own. Those words and that kiss was exactly what Ziva needed at that moment. Ziva shifted onto his lap and after their kiss ended just sat there in the middle of the bed in each other's arms.

Ziva just felt so good being in his arms. After a while Ziva felt calmed enough to talk again.

"Tony?"

"Yes, Ahuvati?" Tony hugged Ziva closer to him, afraid she would get scared again.

Ziva smiled at the term of endearment used by Tony. "When did you learn so much Hebrew?"

"I kinda been taking lessons at the local Synagogue." Tony gave her a shy smile and scratched his head "I thought it might impress a certain beautiful Israeli spy."

Ziva smiled, inside she felt a burst of happiness. He was taking lesson just for her. "Toda Tony." She whispered with a blush on her face.

Tony liked seeing this side of Ziva, the happy side where she allowed herself be carefree and blush. He had never seen Ziva blush and it made him want to make her blush all the time.

She gave him a quick kiss which left him wanting more but Ziva knew she had some things to say.

"Tony, how are we going to continue now?" Ziva asked, her tone indicated that she was serious.

Tony smiled. "Well Mrs. David," He said smiling "first I am going to take you out on a date." He kissed her chastely on her lips. "Then tomorrow we will see." Another kiss "and the day after that we will see that when that day comes."

"I know one thing for sure," his tone serious once more "I want to spend my days with you.".

"But what about work?" Ziva asked.

"What about it?" he looked questioning at her.

"I don't have a job Tony." She said annoyed "And I am not going back to NCIS."

Noticing her voice her started rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs on her back and shoulders. "Ziva, you don't have to go back into law enforcement."

"You can do anything you like. Take your time and decide what you want." He needed to convince her she could be her own person for once and that he would support her in whatever she wanted to do.

"Toda." Ziva smiled at his words and kissed him again. Her kiss conveying how much those words meant to her.

Ziva rested her head against his chest again. She was grateful that Tony was giving her the space she needed. Her mind started wondering about what she would need to be able to move back to DC again.

"Tony?"

"Hmm?" he hummed

Ziva swallowed "Do you know any good hotels which would have space for me for a while?"

Tony looked at her confused "Why do you ask that?"

"Well… I need to stay somewhere."

"Ziva, Ahuvati, when I said that I wanted you near me every day. I meant having you with me at night as well." For Tony it was the simplest thing in life, he was done spending life without Ziva and he was going to convince her that he would be there for her in the good times and the bad.

"Ahuvati, I didn't want to say this so earlier in our relationship. But it seems to be the only way you will understand how I feel about you." Tony swallowed a lump in his throat. "Ziva, I love you."

Ziva looked up at Tony, her heart filled with joy that Tony said those 3 words. Deep down she knew she felt the same way about him but she wasn't ready yet to say the words out loud.

"I know you need your time to process everything, but nothing would make me happier as to wake up next to you every morning." Tony was staring into the deep pools of Ziva's eyes. Felt like he could get lost in them forever.

Ziva's eyes started brimming with tears again. Her heart filled with joy, for the first time in ages her tears were not sad ones but happy ones.

"Ohh no, Ahuvati. Please don't cry, I'm sorry if I moved too fast." Tony started rambling. His mind went crazy thinking he might have moved to fast and ruined everything.

Ziva noticed the panic in Tony's voice and simply moved her lips toward his and kissed him. All the feelings inside her, her love for Tony, the happiness she felt when he practically asked her to live with him, the intense joy she felt when Tony said "I love you". She put in all into that one searing kiss.

Tony was confused the moment he felt her lips on his but soon responded in kind. He knew he would love this woman till the day he would die.

Tony had been broken man when Wendy left him at the altar and sought his pleasures in seducing women and drinking. But Ziva changed him in that, after meeting her he stopped having random flings and he stopped drinking just to get drunk.

He also started to put himself open again for relationships. More mentally than putting himself on the market. He knew he had feelings for Ziva after a few months after meeting her. But he was always too afraid to break the status-quo they had in fear of losing her fully.

Now he was here risking his heart once more and he thought he had lost it again. He thought he would lose Ziva again and this time for the last. But the moment he realised that she was kissing him all his fears dissipated.

Tony gently moved Ziva off his lap and onto the bed, their lips never parting and for the next few minutes they were lost in each other. Tony made sure to move her on top of himself so she would be free to move however she liked.

After a while Ziva broke their kiss and rested her forehead against his. Both left panting from their kiss.

"Does this mean you are moving in with me?" Tony asked, a massive smile adorning his face.

"Only if I can use you as my pillow." Ziva said almost teasingly.

Tony didn't even answer that, he just kissed her again.

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**So that is the end of the chapter.**

**I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Next chapter is going to be date night**


	4. Chapter 4

**So finally chapter 4 is done. This was a bit of a though nut to crack for me and a lot of things happened IRL which didn't help with expediting this chapter.**

**So even though I said this chapter would be date night it turns out that this chapter would come first. I normally don't plan ahead and I write based on what I feel writing. Sorry to those who wanted date night, but it has been delayed to next chapter. **

**I want to thank all who took their time to write reviews. I really love reading them and I appreciate all of them so much!**

**So here is the next chapter. Again my Hebrew is as good as I can google it so sorry if I made any mistakes. **

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Tony and Ziva were in a blissful world of their own exchanging kisses and meaningful looks with between themselves. Ziva was running her hand through his chest hair, loving the feeling his chest muscles beneath her fingertips.

Actually she loved everything of being with Tony in this moment. They were still lying on his bed, she on top of him, their lips barely ever parting. Ziva was nowhere near mentally ready to take it a step further but she felt so safe and loved by Tony in how far they were taking it right now. That she did not worry about everything that was to come. She knew Tony would let her take her time and that was what she needed.

For Tony it was a sweet torture, he knew he had to take things slow and steady but he stop his hands multiple times from wandering to more intimate areas of Ziva's body. Instead he chose to tangle his fingers in her long curly hair, while not the exact same he did always love her hair.

It took him effort quite a few times when they still worked together to not walk across the bullpen, tangle his fingers into her hair and kiss the living daylights out of her. Right there in the middle of the office. Now they were here and his hands were free to enjoy her long curls.

His fingers easily combed through her long curly hair, and while someone would expect Ziva's hair to be a tangled mess, Tony's hands quite easily brushed through him this would be more than enough for the rest of his life, as long as he got to sleep next to Ziva every night.

Both groaned when Tony's phone started ringing. He reached for his phone and looked at the screen.

"It's Gibbs." He told Ziva and answered the phone.

"Hi Boss."

"Tony, is everything ok with you and Ziver?" Tony had never heard Gibbs ask something so carefully.

He looked down at Ziva who had settled her head once again on his chest, her eyes looking up at him. "Yes, everything is fine. Everything is perfect." He used his free hand to caress her cheek.

Ziva smiled at him, knowing that they were talking about her.

"Is there a case?" Tony asked with trepidation, now wanting to leave Ziva's side at the moment.

"No, I was just checking on you two. Give your phone to Ziva I want to talk to her for a bit."

Tony handed her the phone. "Hi Gibbs." Ziva said quietly, not sure how Gibbs was going to react to her being back.

Tony noticed her discomfort and started moving his fingers along her upper arm to sooth her.

"Ziver, glad to have you back kiddo." Gibbs said with a smile.

Ziva breathed a sigh of relief, the man she considered a father to her didn't sound mad at all. "Thank you Gibbs," her voice sounding small "I am so sorry." Tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Tony wrapped his arms around her hugging her close to 's comforting embrace broke the dam that was holding back Ziva's tears.

"Ani mitnatzelet. Ani minatzelet abba." In her emotinal state Ziva defaulted back to her Hebrew and between his limited knowledge of Hebrew and Ziva's sobs Tony could barely understand any of it. But he did understand two important things. Ziva was apologising over and over to Gibbs and she called him "abba", father.

Tony had known that the bond between Gibbs and Ziva was deeper than one would expect from a boss and his subordinate. But even Tony hadn't known that it was this deep.

That in the moments that Ziva finally opened up her emotions for the first time in years, and when she really spoke from her heart. No longer hiding behind the mask she had created as part of her Mossad persona, she referred to Gibbs as aba. Revealing to Tony how close the two actually were.

"Ziver, seeing you are no longer on my team I cannot hold you to rule 6. But still don't apologise."

"But Gibbs…" Her breath hitching between sobs

"No, and it not because it is a sign of weakness. Sometimes it is not, that rule is wrong here. Don't apologise because you have nothing to apologise for." Gibbs' tone soft and fatherly.

Gibbs' words instantly started to calm her down.

"We all know you needed some time to yourself and now you are ready for the next chapter in your life." His tone of voice kind.

"Thanks Gibbs, I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything Ziva, act. Be happy and don't forget about us."

Ziva's eyes were tearing up again. "Of course Gibbs, you guys are my family. I would never forget about any of you."

"I know you won't. Now stop crying before I add a new rule against it" his voice almost uncharacteristically laughing. It was rare side Gibbs showed, mostly when interacting with Ziva alone.

"Okay." her voice sounding small almost that of a child talking with her father. "Thank you, abba."

"Good, now go enjoy your time together. Dinozzo has off until next week, make sure he takes it."

Ziva laughed at that. "Of course, I will make sure of it."

"What did Gibbs have to say?" Tony asked after Ziva had hung up the phone.

Ziva put her head down on Tony's chest "He told me," a playful smirk adorning her face "that you needed to stay here so I can use you as my pillow."

"Ohh really?" Tony asked playfully, his hand sneaking down to Ziva's sides.

"Cross my chest." Ziva said feigning innocence.

It took Tony a moment to figure out what Ziva had actually meant. "It is cross my _heart, _Ziva."

Ziva was about to retort when Tony hands found their mark and he started tickling Ziva.

Tony was surprised that he even got this far seeing Ziva normally would have stopped him before he even would have had the chance of doing something like tickling. But here he was, Ziva laughing loudly as she playfully fought off Tony's assault.

Tony knew she could have stopped him at any moment and overpowered him with ease. But he was elated that Ziva was letting him get close in a way he never saw her do with anyone.

Her laugh was one of the most beautiful things he had ever heard and he swore then and there that he would make her laugh every day of his life. And while he had heard her laugh countless times about his silly jokes and while watching movies, _this _laugh was different. It was carefree, it was maybe from a different Ziva. A Ziva who no longer had to be a cold and calculating Israeli spy, or a Ziva which was a tough but caring NCIS agent. Maybe this was the Ziva which had always been tucked away in a corner, a Ziva which now finally had her time to shine and bring happiness to them both.

Getting lost in his thoughts Tony's hands stopped tickling Ziva, which the former spy took to her advantage and turned the tables right around on Tony. Ziva relentlessly moved her fingers on his side. Tony tried to fight off her hands and playfully grabbed her by the wrist holding them away from himself when he suddenly felt Ziva pull her hands away from him with all her might.

Ziva was genuinely having fun for the first in a long time. Tony's tickling had come unexpected but she couldn't help but liking it deep inside, that was probably why she only fought off his attack half-heartedly and she had also jumped at the opportunity to get back at Tony. It had only been when Tony grabbed her wrists when she was instantly transported from their loving afternoon in Tony's bed to Somalia.

It had been some time when she last found her her mind stuck back in that small and sandy room. But she instantly went from DC to Somalia and instead of Tony holding her it was Saleem, he was hovering above her holding her wrists above her head.

Ziva fought with all her might and got free from Saleem's hands. Surprisingly her hands were free, not tied as they normally were, and she took the opportunity to punch Saleem away. He staggered and she tried running. She ran towards the door that led out of her prison.

"Ziva?" she heard behind her, the voice soft, she knew the voice.

"Ziva, sweet cheeks, calm down." Ziva saw Saleem's mouth move but she knew the voice was not his. She knew that she knew the voice.

She saw Saleem move towards her "Stay away!" She grabbed the door handle and it came off. She flung the door handle at Saleem but she saw Saleem easily dodge it and heard something break somewhere in the background.

"Stay away Saleem!" She screamed again.

"Saleem? Ziva, calm down. You are not in Somalia." She heard the voice say.

She voice became even more soft and comforting. She knew she knew that voice. But she could only see Saleem. "Ziva, it is me Tony."

Ziva's eyes turned big and it clicked. "Tony?" she asked carefully, still not trusting the face in front of her.

"Ziva, ahuvati? It is me Tony. Remember, you are not in Somalia but in my apartment."

The haze in her vision disappeared and her prison in Somalia faded into Tony's bedroom. Saleem also faded and infront of her she saw Tony with a worried look on his face.

"Tony?" she asked again, her voice barely above a whisper. That is all she could say before bursting into tears. Ziva felt herself fall before being wrapped in Tony's strong arms.

Tony's heart broke when he heard her whisper his arms instinctively going around her in an effort to protect her. Worst thing was that he knew that he could not protect her. He could help ease the pain and help her work through everything but there was no protection against what already had been done. He just held her while she sobbed into his shoulder telling her that he loved her and everything was going to be ok.

Ziva was still confused by the ordeal and what exactly happened. She always was left confused when she had a flash-back, but this was one of the heaviest and most vivid she had ever had. She started to put her vision in order of what happened. Saleem holding her down, hitting him, throwing the door handle that came off the door.

Ziva looked up and over Tony's shoulder, and that is when she put everything together. She saw broken shards laying on the floor and she made the connection to the door handle she threw at "Saleem". Then she realised that it had not been a handle but a vase that was on Tony's dresser. She actually did punch somebody, she knew that much, and looked up at Tony who had a bit of blood running from his nose.

Her eyes grew wide and she started to pull away from Tony. "Tony, I am so sorry." she cried.

"It is okay Ziva, you didn't mean to. You were having a flashback."

"But I hurt you, I… I punched you."

"Shh… it is ok. You did not mean it." Tony strengthened his embrace around her when he felt her try to pull away. "Nobody will hurt you and I will keep you safe."

Ziva leaned into his embrace and let her be enveloped by Tony's comforting words and strong arms, tears flowing down her cheeks silently. After a while Ziva broke the silence. "But how can you be with me when I hurt you, and I might hurt you even more in the future? I'll just go and."

"No Ziva," he cut her off mid sentence "the only way you can really hurt me is by leaving." He released her from his arms and moved his hands up to her hair.

"Ziva, I love you and you will get through this. Together we will get through it." He stated adamantly. He kissed her again with everything he had, his fingers intertwining with her hair.

When he broke their kiss he rested his forehead against hers and looked deeply into Ziva's eyes. Ziva felt like he was looking directly into her soul and she into his.

"Together?" he asked.

"Together." she simply confirmed, knowing the deeper meaning he meant with that single worded question.

Ziva moved to kiss Tony again when they were interrupted by a gurgling sound. To which Tony burst out laughing and Ziva turned bright red.

"I think someone is hungry." He stated with a laugh "When did you last eat?".

Ziva had to think about that, that was how long ago it was that she last ate. "Our breakfast in Israel and a small snack on the plane."

Tony looked at her questioningly, she probably hadn't had a proper meal in 24 hours. "Okay, get dressed. I am taking you out for dinner."

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**I hope you enjoyed, and THIS time next chapter will be date night seeing I wrote myself into a corner.**

**Please leave a review if you feel like it, it really keeps me motivated.**

**And for those wondering ****"****ahuvati****"**** is Hebrew for "my love".**


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